A visitor's guide to Dallas, TX -- Life in America's fifth largest city
1. First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned else where. Dallas has its own version of traffic rules...Hold on and pray.
3. All directions start with, "Go down to Beltline"...which has no beginning and no end.
4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a "scenic drive."
5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will get rear ended.
7. Arapaho Road can only be pronounced by a native.
8. Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life,and a permanent form of entertainment.
9. All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase,"Oh, we are in Fort Worth!!"
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.
11. All old ladies with blue hair in Cadillacs have the right of way.
12. Story road mysteriously changes names as you cross intersections.
13. If asking directions in the Irving side, you must have knowledge of Spanish.
14. Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport has four terminal buildings connected by one tram that never works.
15. A trip across town will take a minimum of four hours.
16. Don't carry money, jewelry, family, etc., on Martin Luther King FRWY.
17. The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff isn't ornamental.
18. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says, "Keep honking. I'm reloading."
19. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70...people are not waiving when they go by.
20. The North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of the Nascar circuit.
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